50th post!

Could it be possible? do my eyes deceive me? Is this really the 50th post on this website! BY GOD IT IS! PEOPLE HEAR THESE WORDS THIS IS THE 50TH YES 50TH POST ON THIS SITE! *LOUD CLAPPING AND APPLAUDING STUFFS*…….so whoop big deal right? Well ye for most I guess it’s not a big deal but for moi it kinda is, sorta like an achievment or something, but anyway I plan to celebrate, and how? By discussing something on the topic in the subtitle which has not yet been dealt with. Yes my friends, you teach me and I’ll teach you….POKEMON!

Come on, who can honestly say that they were never a fan of pokemon? The fucking thing was just so amazingly huge! between the show, the games and em *ahem* the card game it was impossible to escape. Now for the purpose of this post I just want to make clear that personaly…i don’t really consider anything that happened after number 151 real. Like it was hard enough catching 151 pokemon but once they started going into the 300s it just got to hard…and who knows how many pokemon there are now! I wouldn’t be suprised if its over 500!

But looking back for a second, think back to the first time you started playing pokemon blue red or yellow versions. Think back to the first pokemon you caught, or the first time you won a gym badge…think a little further into the game to the first time you beat the pokemon league. Good time aye? And to be fair to the series, it has kept these fundamental aspects the same through out the series. The only flaw with…the only big flaw, is that they kept on adding pokemon, sure they had to capatalise on the product but the pokemon are ridiculous and are uninspired at this stage and its freakin’ difficult to catch ‘em all. I dunno about you but the smile that crossed my face the first time I caught 151 pokemon in blue version. I was so happy with myself that I had actually finished what had seemed like an incredibly long adventure. When I tried to do the same in gold version, I just gave up to be honest. It was just to damn hard, and from there on they’ve been getting harder. But that first game had the balance perfect. It was long, but not frustrating, difficult, but fun. It truely was a fantastic game and a fantastic adventure.

And so was the anime! For a long time, probably longer than the games actually the pokemon series was really good fun! Watching Ash catchem, try (and fail) to catch pokemon, but still be a good trainer was exciting. Watching him and the colourful cast of characters (not to mention cute ones like pikachu) was something that made everyday of the week highly enjoyable. Team rocket’s slapstick comedy and occasional actual threat kept us happy to see the same villain over and over and watching ash and misty’s battle of love (which tragically was never resolved!) was hilarious at some points. Brock’s lady’s man attitude was just pure comedy and the pokemon…well we just couldn’t wait to see which pokemon would show up on the next episode! it was great! Not to mention that fuckin’ awesome theme song. I mean seriously that song is definatly one of the best theme songs of all time, so epic! But as we all started to hit 13 14 we stopped watching it we lost contact with the show. So recently I went back to see what it was like these days……………………………its bad………..really bad. Team rocket are practically good guys, they changed all the voice actors to sound just horrible (I think they even change the voice actor for pikachu…i know! hat the need?) GARY IS NO LONGER A FUCKING TRAINER EITHER! I MEAN HE WAS AWESOME! (well maybe he’s gone back to training by the time that whoever reads this reads this i dunno.) and the animation quality for some reason seems worse to me. While watching it I couldn’t help but shake my head and say “Where? pokemon where? where and when did you go so wrong? Oh ye also the people tha follow Ash these days are really annoying and need to be shot…in the face.

So stick to the original series and original games. They’re really amazing and enjoyable. Thanks for reading this 50th post. I hope you had a small pleasant trip down memory lane. Thank you and goodnight! HAPPY CATCHING!

Oh ye I  forgot, remember that subplot about misty’s bike being broken by ash? I wonder if he ever got her a new one?  now never forget…….GOTTA CATCH ‘EM ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cbhbLrSQKyY (sooooo awesome!)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G71enrqDI_o  (not as awesome, but pretty damn cool!)

Note: At the time that this was written the slogan of this blog was ‘Home of the Pokemon generation’.

A Change of Mind

So I’ve been down in bogger land in a place where they insist that you kill toilets? (ye I dunno how to either) and I haven’t been able to do a lot of things that I would usually do on a day to day basis. So that gave me a lot of time to think, and what I thought a good bit about was in fact the last article I wrote. Now firstly I’m going to state that I still like the way that the game had no ending it was original and creative and the fact of the matter is that the game just sucks if there is a way to win. But, the game is not what I’m here to discuss. What I’m here to discuss is something else that was brought up in the previous article and that was the idea that we all lose when it comes to life. I have in the space of a week full of thinking this true decided that I do NOT actually agree with that idea.  There are 2 basic points that I have come up for the idea that we don’t all lose the game, the first being is death really losing? and the second how we can win! So sit back and if you have an opinion of your own please do share it with the rest of us

See if you look at life as a whole it has a beginning  and an end (birth and death) and the question is how is death losing? Is it merely not the end? If something ends does that mean that whatever ended lost? Take the example of immortality. The view of the majority of people is that immortality would quite simply suck! you’d get bored and everything would just be… bad. So saying death is losing cannot be true as death allows us to escape the tragedy of immortality. So… does that mean death is winning? (what a morbid thought) The answer is a big fat N-O! Even if death does prevent us from the tragedy of immortality it does also stop us from doing things that we want to do, we could be in the middle of something that would make one’s life better and just die in the middle of it. So you see death also prevents us from fulfilling things which we want to do. So in the end we come to the conclusion that death is that thing which is neither winning or losing so what is it? Well quite simply it’s how it’s described by many ‘The End.’ Birth is the beginning while Death is the end and nothing more!…………………………..which……………..is actually kind of obvious…….Oh well.

Now, even though death isn’t losing, we still can lose in life BUT we can also win! Now forgive me if I sound like I’m preaching or something I’ll quickly remind you that I’m infact an atheist and am not preaching any form of religion and not trying to convert people. With that out of the way how do we win? and how do we lose? Well again it’s somewhat obvious, if you can leave this world happy, not without regret(because a life without regret is a life without risk which in turn is a utterly boring life and one not worth living), proud of yourself and knowing that you made someone’s life a little better then you can safely say that you won life, or a better word had a successful life. Again these things seem incredibly obvious and I might as well be saying blah blah blah right now but sadly in this real world people forget about these things and become obsessed with things like money and what people think of them and basically people fool themselves into thinking they’re happy by surrounding themselves by things and people that think the same to them and do not challenge themselves thus not allowing them to develop themselves. The individual, that is what is important,  if you cannot develop your individualism how can you be proud of yourself? How could you possibly be proud of yourself if you allow for others to form your opinions and style and sense? if they’re not yours then…whats the point? So then why is it important to be your ownself? I’d hope it would be obvious, if your not your own self you do not push yourself to your full potential and cannot produce ideas, concepts and basically waste a human brain! so it’s very important to be an individual as I hope you can see. But, if you live life just for yourself you are incredibly selfish no? I guess it’s not the worst thing in the world to only love yourself but… well it makes life harder then it needs to be, plus it makes you feel good and all fuzzy and tingly inside when you do something nice for someone else. The most important thing of all of these however is to be happy. Some people are happy adventuring while others are happy simply staying at home with the family and if you make sure that you can be happy and enjoy your life most of the time then you can most definatly say that you had a successful life…no?

So here in writting I ask the genral populace to stop and think for a moment, when was the last time you risked something? Do you have your own individual mind? do you make other’s lives around you easier? and most importantly… are you happy? are you truely happy? like not that materialistic happy that this modern world has fooled the majority of people into where money, things and fame make you happy. So please I don’t find myself any better than any of you and I’m not saying that I’m perfect either. We are all equal humans with fantasmical proportions of potential hidden within us which society( ironically) with all it’s other people with their own hidden amazingness blocks most of the time. So join me if you will in trying to overcome societal pressures and let us life a truely happy and successful life. HAPPY LIVING

Oh I forgot, since this is quite a wide topic with many different opinions I would love to hear how others think about this topic so please feel free to comment……….also the kill toilet joke…….ye the place I went to is called (phonetically) kill-a-loo…ye…what a country we live in:)

I LOST THE FREAKIN’ GAME!

The game of life is hard to play. This is most certainly true, and I don’t think many out there would disagree with the fact that life has it’s ups and downs and that the downs really do suck while the ups are usually just nice. Some people may disagree with the idea that life is a game, but it most certainly can be symbolised as a game, and no I’m not talking about that crappy board game LIFE (that game is really not very good) no I’m talking about that game which is simply passed around by word of mouth, by the willingness of people to trap others in a never ending game which is philisophicaly quite entertaining but in reality can just get on your nerves. Yes, I speak of… “The Game.”

For those of you who do NOT know what the game is it is very simple. The aim of the game is to not think abou the game for as long as possible. So if you weren’t playing you are now!…but it’s probably going to be hard to play while reading this article so just wait till you’re done. If you think of the game you shout out “I LOST THE GAME” and thus everyone around you will also lose the game and it just keeps on going like that. Now recently someone came up with a way to actually win the game…but it’s bollocks and I’ll get onto it in a bit.

But firstly let me tell you a little bit about what the game is all about. The game, in a nutshell, is a metaphor for life. I know corny blah blah blah but in all honesty I think the game in its originality is quite a good metaphor. Everyone can play but no one can win and while you yourself can be the reason for your own lose it can also be those around you which drag you to your ultimate demise! See the fact that the game is unwinable is in itself symbolic and that others can screw you over is just taken straight out of life! It’s depressing but that’s what I like about it, it is one of those things that go around among young people which actually has some thought put into it…at least for some people. Then the following happened…

Some people decided that the game was flawed, afterall there was no way to win. So a new rule was added if you saw a website that said you won the game WITHOUT thinking of the game, well then you won. This addition to the game ruined the metaphor. In real life at the end of the day, at the end of the road, at the end of the rainbow and at the curtain call we all lose, we all die and there is no way to win. Up until recently there was no way to win the game either which as one of the major points which made it a symbol, but with the addition of a way to win the whole metaphor comes tumbling down.

So the question now is, why? why did someone out there feel a eed to add this horrible element to the game, where they afraid of a game with no possible way to win? were the afraid of its symboic nature? possibly they just din’t understand it or possibly they didn’t see the metaphor at all! The answers are uncountable but the majority of them lead to th idea that someone was scared(probably not on a visable level but a subconsious one) and rightly so, but changing the game will not save you.

Now, I’ve just read over that paragraph and realised it’s pretty depressing so let me leave you ith this. The game is merely a symbol a way for us to realise that at the end of the day we all lose, BUT thats not the only thing that the game teaches us. The game also shows us that you can live life and know you’re going to lose no matter what and still have fun, the game of life is fun and while when you lose there is a sense of annoyance there is also a hint of fun and nearly always someone will laugh. So to relay this to life, in the end we will all die, that is a sad truth, but just because we will lose does not mean we should not play life, we can still have fun. And sometimes it’s hard, sometimes you just want to give up but if you hold on you will find that there is always something out there to live for. HAPPY LIVING

Oh I forgot please do not consider yourself finished with the game if  you find that website that means you’ve won, it’s like saying “oh look at me I’v won life!…why?…I dunno some random dude said so.”

A ditty selection 2

A Sick Ditty

I stay in bed
And take my med
I cry out loud
And cannot stand proud
I have a pain in my head
And a dribble down my nose
I stop and wonder how it got down to my toes
An then continue to sweat all over the bed
I whine and complain about my disarray
And continue to annoy those around with my horrible way
I squint through my poofy eyes at a light
And wish it would turn off as it’s making me hot
I decide to screw it and groan some more
And reach for a tissue which I’m in need for
I calm down and only frown
I stay quiet
And go to sleep
I wake up
And for fucks sake I’m still SICK!

A Love Ditty

I love her so
Too much for you to know
On this boat we row
Down the river flow
At an easy pace of slow
Which allows for ones love the grow
Till we get to the land where we will sow
Our seeds of life and grow ol’

What a Ditty?

A poem about what?
Will it be about a lot?
Will it question my existence?
Or maybe my love for instance
Will it query my question
Or answer my situation
Send me to death
Or make me fret?
Will it actually be about something
Or simply be about nothing?
So this poem is about what?
Well in a sense it’s about a lot!

—————————————————————————————————-

Again there is little to non meaning in these just enjoy them for what they are ok?

Chips a la me

Ever been really hungry? Ever been hungry at night? Well if you have and you’re looking for something a tad different to eat come check this article out! Right now! I promise you you won’t regret it.

Ok so today we’re gong to need a bowl, ketchup, a microwave and some oven chips, got it? right cool. So you’re going to take your bowl ye? and your oven chips ok? and, now this is the tough part, pour the chips into the bowl so that you get just the right amount, which is as much or as little as you want, but keep in mind that the chips will…how do you explain it…melt? so if you want a good amount you gotta get the bowl over flowing. Ok so with your bowl of frozen oven chips ready you are now going to proceed to the microwave (I suggest doing a cool sorta dancewalk if you can to make this whole awesome experience that much more AWESOME.)

Nice, so at the microwave place the bowl right smack in the centre and get ready to turn the microwave on. You’re going to set it roughly to about 10 minutes at the highest setting you can on your microwave.( some people I know set it only for 9 minutes cause they dare to defy moi.) so know you have a long (but worthwhile) wait.  In this time you can do whatever the fuck you want: do a poo, have a wank, read a book, make more food, make a cup of tea, gaze into the eyes of your lover or dance to whatever is playing on the radio. As someone who has done all the above i suggest the dancing it’s fun and gets you happy and as we all know if you’re happy while eating life rocks!

So we’re not done yet but nearly there do not panic!. So once the microwave makes that annoying beeping noise, take the chips out BUT FOR GODS SAKE BE CAREFUL THE BOWL IS GOING TO BE HOT. Now take whatever topping you want: ketchup, mayo etc. and pour it on the top of the chips. Take a fork and start turning the chips all over the bowl, this allows for the topping to spread to all the chips. And there you have it! Chips a la me!

So stick that fork in and start having a good time! HAPPY EATING!

oh I forgot…2 things this time actually. Firstly, by now i think you see what I meant by melted, but that is a really good sign. if you can stick your fork into a chip pull up and practically the whole damn thing comes up with it that means that they were done right so don’t worry. Secondly, I know this sounds gross and everyone who I make them for is at first all pussy and like “BUT WAH THAT’S NOT CONVENTIONAL.” but it works. Just try it once…..for me?…..please?

The Waiting Room

A Tall wooden white door then opened. There was a young man standing there wearing the perfect pearl white coat of a new doctor who was still excited about the idea of having Dr. at the beginning of his name. He had clear skin and smelled like he’d put on a new scent every time that he’d think that no one was looking. He placed a single hand on the back of a significantly older man with wrinkles all across his face and hands. The old man was wearing an old suit that was as clean as the day it had been bought, and was holding a cap in his hands while he profusely gave his thanks to the doctor for everything he‘d done. The young doctor led him to the door. “Haha well alright now Mr. Hyle, just wait in that room with your wife for a couple minutes and I’ll have someone come get you when the tests are done.” Mr. Hyle Stood facing the door with his cap still in hand with a slight frown on his aged face at what the doctor had told him while he was being checked out. He then forced a smileupon his face and slowly walked towards his wife who was sitting on one of those annoying plastic chairs and reading one of those outdated magazines which waiting rooms so generously provide. Mr. Hyle was a pretty average old man. A few hip problems but nothing else (at least as far as he was going to mention to anyone.) He wasn’t alone in the world as he had his wife who he’d been with since the young age of 17 and a son who they saw twice a year, once at Christmas the other at their grandsons birthday. He always wore a suit and kept all of them immaculate so that his wife wouldn’t get angry at him. In short, Mr. Hyle was normal, no scars, a little bit of a belly but nothing was spectacular about him. He sat down beside his wife, and placed his cap on the empty seat beside him to keep it safe from being crinkled too much in his grasp. He then asked… “What are you reading dear?” “Nothing that you’d be interested in” came a short sharp reply. “Oh…ok….I’d still like to kn..” “Did they tell you what was wrong with you?” interrupted the wife “Eh no but they said….” “Did they tell you how long they’d be?” spitted the wife “Err…no.” The wife then stuck her head deep into the pages of the magazine and began mumbling to herself incomprehensibly. After a quick look around the old man decided that there was most certainly no one else in the room so he got up to have a small stroll around it. He walked by all the empty chairs of all sorts of wonderful colours such as brown…and black, and looked at all of the health poster that told him how to brush his teeth, check for lice or put a condom on. There was one with the images of a naked woman and man which after he realised he was staring at he quickly averted his gaze from and walked past. He got to the window. The sun was shining through it quite heavily and the old man tried to take in a breath of fresh air. After some seconds the old man remembered he was inside and he instantly stopped. He tilted his head down and noticed that there was dust on the windowsill. He placed one finger on the dust and wiped some off. He turned around to his wife. “Dear, look at this! There’s dust in this waiting room! You know what that means? Right?” “mmmmmmm” was the only reply he got. “ Why dust is merely the dead skin cells that fall off our bodies and that means that there were people before us that were waiting in this room! Imagine that. Imagine all the people and illnesses that have walked up and down this room like we are now and how many of those lived and died. I would like to know all their stories. It’s quite something don‘t you agree dear?” “It makes me sick.” was all his wife had to say. “Haha yes, yes quite so my dear, quite so.” he chuckled softly to himself, but no more noise came from his wife’s direction. The old man took out a handkerchief from his breast pocket and began to wipe his hands clean of the dust while reciting the line ‘ashes to ashes dust to dust’ and walking over to the seat beside his wife again so that he could once again be with her. After twiddling his thumbs for a few seconds the old man took out the watch his father gave him. It was pretty old at that stage heck as far as he could remember it looked ancient even when his father used it, but it still was always on time (that was assuming you didn’t mind always being a few minutes off.) The old man looked the watch up and down confirming the time over and over again in his head until he finally consulted his wife on the grave matter at hand. “Oh my dear look at this!” “What?” came the wife’s reply without moving her head once from the magazine “Why it’s starting to get very late. I do hope they hurry up.” “Is it?” The wife let an eye slip from the clutches of the torn magazine to sneak a peak at the watch. “Oh, don’t be silly it’s only 4 there’s lots of time yet before dinner.” said she “I guess” said the old man with a sigh of disappointment. “But you see dear.. I’ve made plans for us tonight and if they don’t hurry up with the results then we may be late for dinner!” The wife brought the magazine down for the first time since the old man had walked into the room. She was old but still had the image youth about her. She’d aged quite well and her hair was still a dark brown. She had few wrinkles but enough to know that she had them and wasn’t young anymore. She wore very fashionable clothing with a personal old lady’s touch of course. “What?” asked the wife in an angered voice. “Why have you made plans Gill? You never make plans. Why tonight?” “Well see dear, I know it’s not our anniversary but it is the anniversary of the day we first met!” exclaimed the husband with a big grin on his cheeks! “Oh great.” replied the wife sarcastically. “Oh well I just thought it’d be a nice thing to do dear…we don’t have to do it if you don’t want to.” A couple of moments passed as the husband looked at his wife and she turned her head away from him and pointed it to the sky. “You know” she began, “I remember the night we first met. It was the night of the big party at my friend stacy’s house. Hehe I remember she’d been planning it for months. I came over early to help her set up the place you know pour some drinks sneak some marijuana into the brownies. And then all the guys came. And oh my there were a lot of them. Lots of handsome ones too. Anyway a couple drinks later I spotted this one guy, oh my how dazzling he was. Like a king among kings, a god among gods. I wanted to ask him to dance with me but I was afraid I’d be much too out of his league. I decided I wanted to kiss him at the very least though. So I hatched a devious plan. And told my friend Amanda to turn the lights off in the room when I gave her the single. I danced my way across the room and when I was close to the boy I sent Amanda the signal. The lights went out and…” “THAT’S WHEN YOU KISSED ME” shouted the husband with such a smile that would challenge the very smile of Pollyanna. “Yes…unfortunately.” murmured the woman while rolling her eyes back to her magazine. The old man sat there for a short while with a confused look in his eyes. “Unfortunately?” he asked “No never mind a slip of the tongue.” she replied. “No go on do tell.” The husband insisted. The wife brought the magazine down again. An turned to her husband and quietly began… “Alright then, Who‘d have guessed that that once dashing young man I kissed would turn into…into you!” The husband sat there in silence thinking over what his wife was saying to him. After a moments thought he asked his loving wife another question. “What do you mean?” “Oh come on now Gill you know as well as I do that you‘re nothing like you used to be. You let yourself go after you retired and look at where you’re at now! In a hospital praying that there isn‘t anything ELSE wrong with you. I could have been with someone else, someone who‘d end up famous or something, someone who’d make a difference in this world…but instead I ended up with you, all because I fancied you that one night…but I‘m being mean aren‘t I? It’s to be expected that I start getting bored of you after how many years we‘ve been together. A good healthy relationship in the wild would only really last about 20 years and look how long we‘ve be ‘one’. Ah but sure don‘t take heed of what I‘m saying I‘m sure you‘re starting to get bored of me too aren‘t you? I can‘t be that interesting after all. I‘m only one woman in the end.” The wife returned to her magazine and the husband could do nothing but stare at the front page of the magazine she was reading. He was trying to process everything his beloved wife had just told him. ‘Boring?’ was the relationship really getting boring? He was having fun still or at least he thought it was. ‘Whatever was she talking about?’ he kept repeating in his head. Did she not love him anymore? Was that what she was trying to say? Or was she just making conversation and all those words were in fact meaningless. Oh how handy it would be if that were true. In the end though after as much thought as the old man’s brain could handle, he simply sat back in his chair. He closed his eyes for a moment and listened to the sound of his wife turning the pages of the magazine. He took out a coin from his pocket and started playing with it in his hand. Rolling it over his fingers, flipping it every once in awhile, heads tails, heads, tails, tails etc. He then stood up and went over to the white door. He knocked once. “Yes?” came a voice through the door. “How much longer will it be? If you don’t mind me asking.” asked Mr. Hyle. “Oh not that much longer I should have someone out there in a short while to talk to you about the test results.” came the voice again. “Thank you very much.” said Mr. Hyle. He then waited at the door for a confirmation that his thank you had been appreciated. Nothing but silence came from the door. The old man shrugged his shoulders and started to go over to the table where all the magazines were. He leafed through them. Nothing but pointless trash, nothing of higher quality, only tabloids about who had slept with whom. ‘ Where are newspapers? The novels?’ he thought to himself. ‘Is this what the world is coming to? One big article for anyone to read?…Oh well at least I won’t have to suffer too many more years of this kind of thing.’ He then found his way back to the window. He placed both his hands on the windowsill not caring too much if his hands got dusty. He looked out again at the sun. Time had passed and the sun was already visibly lower since his last visit to the window. He saw a few children playing with a ball in the far corner of his sight and he gave them a silent cheer. He then saw a cat looking up a tree trying to spot a bird which s\he could catch and he chuckled at the foolish animal that sought to catch something that could easily fly away from him. Then he saw a young couple sitting in each others arms quietly on a bench. He couldn‘t make out much about them except that one had darker hair and the other very fair hair…he wished them a silent good luck. Then putting his arms around his back and clutching one sleeve with one hand and leaving the other loose he walked once more to where his wife sat and plonked himself on the chair beside her once more. He began to speak to his wife again. “I still love you dear you do know that right?.” “Pardon me, what?” said the wife. “ Since the first time I laid my 2 eyes on you till this very moment, you have been the only person I’ve loved.” He smiled at his wife. “Oh don‘t be such a fool Gill.” The wife said to the husband. “ I thought I told you to not take heed of what I just said. Of course I love you too, I did marry you after all, that doesn’t mean nothing you know.” “ But then…what was that speech all about just a minute ago!?” exclaimed the husband. “ Calm down calm down! I just meant that our relationship is no longer interesting. We know everything there is to know about each other and we’ve done pretty much everything there is to do right?” The husband thought for a moment then slowly nodded his old head in agreement. “Well then, we’re bored of each other in other words aren‘t we? But that doesn’t stop the UNFORTUNATE yet magical force of love keeping us together now does it? So don‘t be worrying about such things. I thought you‘d have had this all figured out by now. You‘re even stupider in your old age than you were when I first met you.” The wife said with a smile and a giggle. “Now” she began again. “Tell me about these plans you have made for us alright?” “Eh well ok.” The husband said still trying to figure out exactly what his wife had just told him. “ Well we’re going to Timmel’s” “TIMMEL’S! AGAIN!? By god you’d think you wanted to live in that place, you should get some money together and buy the place off that poor old Mr. Timmel. I’m sure he’d love to be rid of that trash-can excuse for a building.” “Ah now dear you know just as well as I do that the place would go out of business as soon as I became the manager of that place. I’D EAT ALL FOOD AND LEAVE ALL THE CUSTOMERS STARVING!” the husband and wife shared a small laugh. The Tall wooden White door then opened. “The tests are done and the results are in Mr. Hyle!” The End

For nice paragraphed versions just leave your e-mail and I’ll send it to you!:)

Simulated Awesomness

OK HOWDY PEOPLE OF THE INTERNET WORLD! TODAY WE BE LOOKING AT…………………….GAMES!

*ahem* scuse me.

Yes it’s true this time around I will be looking at video games but not any old games. No no no no no. Today I will be showing you the top 3 ds simulation games that have thus far been created. I like to call them the 3 wise-kings..of simulation. Now before I start I have one thing I’d like to say, that being that if you don’t agree with my list…so? Do you or I really care? by all means tell me yours but don’t be mean about it ok?

So in third place we have…

TRAUMA CENTER

Now, I got this game purely for what it was. I knew nothing of the game play,music,story etc. All I knew was that you were a doctor and you saved people. The very idea got me excited and I couldn’t wait to get my hands on a copy! (it took fucking ages for the package to arrive but that’s another story for an e-bay rant I have planned) So when I got the cartridge I stuck it into the ds………bad dum bad dum (this is a heart beat by the way)……LETS GET THIS GAME GOING!. I was happy to find out that this game was thankfully quite fun! the plot line while being quite…stupid is fun and there is a nice array of animetastic characters which you have to save from an emo 17 year old girl to some random dude with a weird name! The game play is neat and disguises itself well for what it really is… a puzzle game. The music ain’t too shabby either. If you have nothing to do one Sunday afternoon and have a spare penny I’d defiantly suggest buying this game. (oh also for you scrubs fans they make some references to the show like cox elliot turk etc.)

Coming in second place we have…

PHOENIX WRIGHT

Ok this game is an absolute must for any ds wielder. You’re a lawyer! Need I say more?…yes. Ok this game is test after test of logical ability and makes you feel like you’re almost actually trying to save someones life!….you know from them evil prosecutors…ye? Anyway the plot is fantastic and drags you into a worl full of colourful characters from spirit mediums to scary whip ladies. The music is some of the best in any game ever, having been remixed over and over by various people on the interweb (just look and you’ll find.) The game play has 2 sections, the court room and the investigation. the court room is dare I say epic? while the investigations are meh so-so but over all the game has good gameplay with few problems. The animation is also beautifull with flashing blue backgrounds and what not and of course again you get a lethal dose of animetasticness but that’s all good cause you’re phoenix wright ace attorney!

AND NOW FOR THE KING OF DS SIMULATORS!

KABU TRADER SHUN

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_B8FWfFeGjQ

Ok I’ll admit it I’ve never actually played this game(since it was only released in Japan). The only reason I’m giving it the first place is cause of the idea. Imagine yourself as a broker….fighting evil stock markets. Ye….YOU JUST DON’T GET MORE ORIGINAL THAN THAT! I mean would have thought that one could turn stocks into a game with I assume an ok plot and have it make any sense at all? “OH NO YOU BOUGHT THE EVIL STOCKS YOU BETTER BUY SOME GOOD STOCKS BEFORE THE STOCK MARKET CRASHES AND OH MY GOD NO!!!! TERRORISTS HAVE ATTACKED THE WHITE HOUSE! USE YOUR MAGICAL STOCK MARKETING POWERS TO STOP THEM!” like it just has to be the single greatest game ever made! There is no feasible way that it is in anyway a bad game analong with what looks like…fan..tas…tic…game play?…… so thats why I’ve given it my umber one place.

Thank you for sticking with me through this countdown. I hope you enjoyed it and will get these games in the near future. HAPPY GAMING!

Oh I forgot, if anyone actually knows what kabu trader shun is about I’d love to hear your explination!

Why I Should Do Proper Days Work In School

Now…I rarely get punishments in school cause I’m a real goodie two shoes but when I do I like to make the most of them. The following is my most recent ‘punishment’ which I felt like putting up cause I had nothing else to do. HAPPY DETENTIONS!

“School, what is school? Is it simply a revamped version of the system used by the ancient Greeks to teach their children and young adults a few things they would need in life and many things they would not? Or is it more? Do we now have the right to say that our school system is that much better than that of the ancient Greeks. Have  we gotten rid of all pointless subjects that the Greeks taught like philosophy and military training and replaced them with subjects of a much higher importance such as Irish and agricultural studies? Some would say we most certainly have a better educational system then those ‘barbarians’  who set the stepping stones for practically all western thought. Others would think that we have in fact destroyed the educational system, injecting too many pointless subjects with half-baked syllabi into the ever growing parasitic and robot constructing ideology that is the educational system. They believe that languages which we shan’t use outside school are nothing but a waste of time. How absurd! They would rather learn about how to cook or fix a car than how to conjugate amo,amas,amat!
I would think it obvious by now that for the purpose of writing this essay I do not agree with the latter people but rather with the former people. But I am yet to answer the question set before me. That being ‘Why Should I do a Proper Days Work In School.’ or maybe I have answered it already. I am from now on assuming that all the obvious answers such as “it’ll help me get a good course in college and thus help me get a good job.” or  “ You might actually learn something” will be assumed by the reader as an assumed given. As seen in the first half of this essay I do strongly think that school is important, maybe even the most important thing in our lives, in our very existence! But I’ll be honest with the reader. The fact that school is important should have already been and should still be and forever be a given assumption. No there is only one really good reason why one  should do a proper days work in school. And that reason is as follows. If you do the work you don’t get any silly punishments and don’t have to write essays which make you see the error of your ways. At least that’s what mega man thinks.”

Oh I forgot, the reason I got in trouble was because I wrote the lyrics to this song  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g_7rmGlo-1U on the back of my homework…as well as some silly doodles! stupid huh?

Description of Hell

In front of the gates of Hell I stood
With my comrades who had gone before
They paid the ferryman so that they could
Experience Hell once more
Of course I certainly followed them
Or else there would be no story to tell with this poem

I entered a room
Full of darkness and doom
When suddenly a daemon did loom
And spat all over us
But none did make fuss
At the torture of his ruckus

Then flames on the wall began to spark
And little daemons squished together danced
To the beat of the dull music in the dark
I am ashamed to say that for awhile I too did prance
To the screeching music
That was played with no meaning

In the centre of the room sat high
The Devil himself and he was jammin’
Fear then overcame me I will not lie
To get outside I found myself pushin’
But the minions of the darkness made it hard to escape
Was to die here truly my fate?

Finally I found a wall
To which I could easily crawl
But once I got there I got a fright
It was something scary what a sight
Wet evil the walls were oozing
And my stay here there to a closing

To a room with some light I went next
In order to find me some rest
But instead what I found
Was urine spread all over the ground
And the horrible high pitched sound
Of the taking of ones daemon seed

I sought to escape
Before it was too late
So to my comrades I did run
But it turned out they were having fun
So I looked around for some sort of cure
There must be something here that is pure?

But alas it was not to be
To take in the pain was my destiny
Until finally the clock struck twelve
And into the real world we did delve
A breath of fresh air
Had never tasted so fair

So I ask you this
Give Hell a miss
It corrupts the mind
And one forgets they are of human kind
I swear I’m not crazy
When I say “screw Wezzley”

——————————————————————-

Ok for those of you who don’t know what wezzley is, it’s the “local disco” if you will of my general area. It’s horrible and has a very bad reputation among most people who know about it. But that doesn’t deter from teens from as young as 13 getting drunk going there and having a “magical” time. Thankfully most people I know are growing out of it at this stage but for the past few years it’s been one of those things that practically all my friends went to and once they entered (no offence to them) I really didn’t like them. The events above were some of the things that happened in my ONE ONLY ONE visit to this place of sex sex sex and yes sweaty druken sex. I went once for the experience and nothing more and I don’t regret it but that’s only cause I have a thing with being able to say I’ve done things. I really did hate it and it was one of the worst things I have ever done. The actual poem? meh what can I say it comes from the heart lol

It takes the SPIRIT out of me

Oh geez….how does one go so wrong? The spirit,let me tell you about the spirit. Over the christmas holiday I went to see a few films in the cinema. One of them was…The Spirit. Now I’m just going to say it in plain english before I start ranting, The Spirit is soul crushingly bad. I was sitting there contently watching the ads and I should have left the cinema afterward because the ads were about 10 times more interesting than the film itself! I guess I should give you an outline of what the story is about. So you got this dude (whose practically invincible for some bad reason) and he wants to have sex with the city that he lives in. But since he can’t do that he just fucks every girl that comes within eyesight of him. Then you got this other dude who has 8 dicks for some godawful reason and wants to become a god (which is understandable) also this second dude is invincibe too. The you got all these stupid dudes and dudettes who are just there to annoy you. Anyway the plot is cityophile wants to kill 8 dicks. Now retarded as that sounds thats not the reason why I didn’t like this film. There were 2 main reasons.

1) The acting. The acting in this film is some of the worst acting I have ever seen in my life. There isn’t any real emotion and you don’t feel for any of the characters and their “tragic” pasts. Jackson in particular is a disappointment. You know how that dude only has one character in all his films and some of us hate him for it while others worship him for it? Well in this film he changes…for the worse. He is really just trying to imitate ledgers rendition of the joker and he’s just no good at it! He just doesn’t do crazy well! And who the fuck are the other actors! There was one dude I thought I’d seen before but I couldn’t remember his name…oh ye there was that Johansson one as well but I don’t like her and like to pretend she doesn’t exist.

2) The screenplay and direction………Frank Miller………..damn you. Ok I love the sin city comics and the 300 comic as well as their respective films. The Dark knight returns comic was the first time I ever questioned Frank Millers ability to do good stuff. It made me feel like Miller only has the sin city story and just puts it into other locations and repeats this process over and over again but, I had faith. Until The Spirit. While The story COULD be enjoyable even though it’s retarded the directing and screenplay just massacred it. I was watching the film and thinking “Is…is Frank Miller making fun of himself or has he just decided to be really stupid?” Everything and I mea EVERYTHING is over the top. Those soliloquise that Frank Miller usually does in his works are just plain stupd they go no where and always end up with wanting to have sex with the city or something even more stupid! In the end I decided that he was trying to make fun of himself because the whole thing was so bad that no human being could not mean it to be so bad, but the problem was…he’s no good at making fun of himself! So it’s just terrible!

Anyway that’s my rant on the cityophile for now…good day!

Oh I forgot, Seriously don’t go see it, it’s a waste of money. If you’re going to the cinema go see anything else even that Disney dog thing about chihuahuas or something just don’t go see the spirit I beg of you!