I LOST THE FREAKIN’ GAME!

The game of life is hard to play. This is most certainly true, and I don’t think many out there would disagree with the fact that life has it’s ups and downs and that the downs really do suck while the ups are usually just nice. Some people may disagree with the idea that life is a game, but it most certainly can be symbolised as a game, and no I’m not talking about that crappy board game LIFE (that game is really not very good) no I’m talking about that game which is simply passed around by word of mouth, by the willingness of people to trap others in a never ending game which is philisophicaly quite entertaining but in reality can just get on your nerves. Yes, I speak of… “The Game.”

For those of you who do NOT know what the game is it is very simple. The aim of the game is to not think abou the game for as long as possible. So if you weren’t playing you are now!…but it’s probably going to be hard to play while reading this article so just wait till you’re done. If you think of the game you shout out “I LOST THE GAME” and thus everyone around you will also lose the game and it just keeps on going like that. Now recently someone came up with a way to actually win the game…but it’s bollocks and I’ll get onto it in a bit.

But firstly let me tell you a little bit about what the game is all about. The game, in a nutshell, is a metaphor for life. I know corny blah blah blah but in all honesty I think the game in its originality is quite a good metaphor. Everyone can play but no one can win and while you yourself can be the reason for your own lose it can also be those around you which drag you to your ultimate demise! See the fact that the game is unwinable is in itself symbolic and that others can screw you over is just taken straight out of life! It’s depressing but that’s what I like about it, it is one of those things that go around among young people which actually has some thought put into it…at least for some people. Then the following happened…

Some people decided that the game was flawed, afterall there was no way to win. So a new rule was added if you saw a website that said you won the game WITHOUT thinking of the game, well then you won. This addition to the game ruined the metaphor. In real life at the end of the day, at the end of the road, at the end of the rainbow and at the curtain call we all lose, we all die and there is no way to win. Up until recently there was no way to win the game either which as one of the major points which made it a symbol, but with the addition of a way to win the whole metaphor comes tumbling down.

So the question now is, why? why did someone out there feel a eed to add this horrible element to the game, where they afraid of a game with no possible way to win? were the afraid of its symboic nature? possibly they just din’t understand it or possibly they didn’t see the metaphor at all! The answers are uncountable but the majority of them lead to th idea that someone was scared(probably not on a visable level but a subconsious one) and rightly so, but changing the game will not save you.

Now, I’ve just read over that paragraph and realised it’s pretty depressing so let me leave you ith this. The game is merely a symbol a way for us to realise that at the end of the day we all lose, BUT thats not the only thing that the game teaches us. The game also shows us that you can live life and know you’re going to lose no matter what and still have fun, the game of life is fun and while when you lose there is a sense of annoyance there is also a hint of fun and nearly always someone will laugh. So to relay this to life, in the end we will all die, that is a sad truth, but just because we will lose does not mean we should not play life, we can still have fun. And sometimes it’s hard, sometimes you just want to give up but if you hold on you will find that there is always something out there to live for. HAPPY LIVING

Oh I forgot please do not consider yourself finished with the game if  you find that website that means you’ve won, it’s like saying “oh look at me I’v won life!…why?…I dunno some random dude said so.”

A ditty selection 2

A Sick Ditty

I stay in bed
And take my med
I cry out loud
And cannot stand proud
I have a pain in my head
And a dribble down my nose
I stop and wonder how it got down to my toes
An then continue to sweat all over the bed
I whine and complain about my disarray
And continue to annoy those around with my horrible way
I squint through my poofy eyes at a light
And wish it would turn off as it’s making me hot
I decide to screw it and groan some more
And reach for a tissue which I’m in need for
I calm down and only frown
I stay quiet
And go to sleep
I wake up
And for fucks sake I’m still SICK!

A Love Ditty

I love her so
Too much for you to know
On this boat we row
Down the river flow
At an easy pace of slow
Which allows for ones love the grow
Till we get to the land where we will sow
Our seeds of life and grow ol’

What a Ditty?

A poem about what?
Will it be about a lot?
Will it question my existence?
Or maybe my love for instance
Will it query my question
Or answer my situation
Send me to death
Or make me fret?
Will it actually be about something
Or simply be about nothing?
So this poem is about what?
Well in a sense it’s about a lot!

—————————————————————————————————-

Again there is little to non meaning in these just enjoy them for what they are ok?

Chips a la me

Ever been really hungry? Ever been hungry at night? Well if you have and you’re looking for something a tad different to eat come check this article out! Right now! I promise you you won’t regret it.

Ok so today we’re gong to need a bowl, ketchup, a microwave and some oven chips, got it? right cool. So you’re going to take your bowl ye? and your oven chips ok? and, now this is the tough part, pour the chips into the bowl so that you get just the right amount, which is as much or as little as you want, but keep in mind that the chips will…how do you explain it…melt? so if you want a good amount you gotta get the bowl over flowing. Ok so with your bowl of frozen oven chips ready you are now going to proceed to the microwave (I suggest doing a cool sorta dancewalk if you can to make this whole awesome experience that much more AWESOME.)

Nice, so at the microwave place the bowl right smack in the centre and get ready to turn the microwave on. You’re going to set it roughly to about 10 minutes at the highest setting you can on your microwave.( some people I know set it only for 9 minutes cause they dare to defy moi.) so know you have a long (but worthwhile) wait.  In this time you can do whatever the fuck you want: do a poo, have a wank, read a book, make more food, make a cup of tea, gaze into the eyes of your lover or dance to whatever is playing on the radio. As someone who has done all the above i suggest the dancing it’s fun and gets you happy and as we all know if you’re happy while eating life rocks!

So we’re not done yet but nearly there do not panic!. So once the microwave makes that annoying beeping noise, take the chips out BUT FOR GODS SAKE BE CAREFUL THE BOWL IS GOING TO BE HOT. Now take whatever topping you want: ketchup, mayo etc. and pour it on the top of the chips. Take a fork and start turning the chips all over the bowl, this allows for the topping to spread to all the chips. And there you have it! Chips a la me!

So stick that fork in and start having a good time! HAPPY EATING!

oh I forgot…2 things this time actually. Firstly, by now i think you see what I meant by melted, but that is a really good sign. if you can stick your fork into a chip pull up and practically the whole damn thing comes up with it that means that they were done right so don’t worry. Secondly, I know this sounds gross and everyone who I make them for is at first all pussy and like “BUT WAH THAT’S NOT CONVENTIONAL.” but it works. Just try it once…..for me?…..please?